Villa Zamorano at Monte’s Club

The Villa Zamorano by Maya Selva Cigars is a favorite of mine. Modestly priced at $5.20, it’s the kind of cigar you smoke while walking the dog or doing yardwork, but has the sophistication of more expensive cigars, making it appropriate for almost any occasion.

That is more or less how I remember Maya Sevla describing said cigar when I met her at the club a while back, and confirmed as much when her Facebook page remarked “Perfectly said, Monte’s Cigar Shop” on ours. So, I figure I would put their marketing pitch to the test while smoking a few myself. I like to smoke a cigar at least twice before I recommend it, and do more than just look it up on the Internet, and list details, which you could surely do yourself. For the authoritative source on the Villa Zamorano line, take a look at their website here: http://mayaselvacigars.com/villa-zamorano/. I must say, it is a well designed website that allows you to easily ascertain details about the wrapper, binder, and filler for each of the available sizes.

For this review, I smoked two of the No 15s, which, as I said above, you can get at Monte’s for $5.20. Here’s a picture of one on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/mayaselvacigarsus/posts/853293891404673?notif_t=page_tag. Check it out! Like it! Share it!

Having no dogs to walk or yards to work on, I smoked mine while hanging up flyers at the club. It didn’t go out, it felt comfortable in my mouth even when I was using both hands, and made the work just breeze by. I ran into Art, so I gave him the other one I had. One of favorite parts about the quasi-ceremonial brotherhood at the club is the exchange of cigars, and one of my favorite people at the club is Art. I love this guy. He has great stories.

“Thanks, Parch!” He said to me. He took a look at it, liked what he saw. The Villa Zamorano No 15 is, after all, very well presented and I would feel comfortable handing one of them to anyone when cigars were exchanging hands, and important consideration when giving someone a cigar. “I’ll savor it, and enjoy it.”

And, I’m sure he did. He’s just that kind of guy. I remember this one time at his birthday party he had this story about a truck that he kept buying and selling off the same guy over and over again. Or this other time we were sitting around the table, upstairs at the club. David was reading the newspaper.

“Whatcha reading, David?” says Art, sitting down with a huge smile on his face.

“Newspaper,” David replies, without another word, and goes right on reading.

“Well I got a story for you,” Art says, and goes on with some happy story about his wife but David just stops him mid-sentence and says, “I hear you talking, but I ain’t listening. So don‏’t expect a reply.” And I’m pretty sure David just meant that he didn’t mind Art talking so long as he didn’t mind David replying but Art came right back at him and said, “Damnit, David, I listen when you talk but you won’t hear me at all.” And David replies: “Hey man, you can talk all you want but I just want to read the paper,” and he ruffles the paper a bit and goes back to reading. Art shoots me a ‘doesn’t that beat all’ kinda look and we chatted for about an hour.

Because Art loves everything, as long as it is presented with honor and respect and friendship. But no so David, which is why I’d give him a Hoya de Monterrey Excalibur Epicure Maduro if I were to pick anything out of the humidor at Monte’s in my price range.

Hmmm. I got a little off track there! The upshot, while smoking that Villa Zamorano, I hung up some flyers, remembered a great story, talked to Art and wrote this review. In other words, I got a lot of work done! And did that work ever seem to just fly by.

So, I will go ahead and agree with what Maya Selva herself told me, but revised a bit: The Villa Zamorano is a great cigar for a working man, trying to move himself up a notch in the world.

And Monte’s Cigar Club is the place to smoke one.

Monte’s Cigar Shop to Honor RRPD Officer Anthony Haase

ALBUQUERQUE—Monte’s Cigar Shop will be hosting a celebration on Thursday, March 26, 2015 to honor Anthony Phillip Haase. Officer Haase fell in the line of duty as a Rio Rancho Police Officer on October 26^th, 2014.

Monte’s will provide food, beverages, and cigars to honor Officer Haase, beginning at 5:30 pm. The suggested donation is $25, and a silent auction will be held.

“Monte’s and the Monte family are honored and humbled to sponsor a charity event in Anthony’s name,” says Eileen Monte.

Officer Anthony Phillip Haase, RRPD.
End of Watch: October 26, 2014.

Officer Haase, a loving son, brother, and husband, is survived by his wife Nichole Haase. Retired APD Captain Ron Hetes, Nichole’s father and an integral member of the Monte’s family, has organized this charity event to defer the costs of honoring Office Haase at the National Law Enforcement Memorial in a ceremony which will take place May 11-16, 2015 in Washington D.C.

Further donations can be made at any Bank of America branch under “Officer Anthony Haase Memorial Fund” or online at http://www.gofundme.com/rrpdanthonyhaase.

Please join the Monte Family, the Hetes Family, and Nichole Haase in honoring Officer Anthony Phillip Haase.

And please share this story on your social media sites using the buttons below. 🙂

Monte’s Cigar Shop: 3636 San Mateo Blvd NE, Albuquerque, NM 87110. (505) 881-7999

Jacquie Carp Wins Longest Ash Contest for Team Monte

ALBUQUERQUE – Jacquie Carp of Team Monte won the third annual longest ash contest at the Gurkha Cigar Lounge, defeating cross Rio Grande rival Jake & Harley’s.

Jacquie started off the contest, which–in typical Monte’s Cigar Club fashion–included a variety of colorful characters with various degrees of concern for the outcome, confident she would emerge victorious. She smoked her seven inch Perdomo 20^th Anniversary steadily for two hours as the other members of Team Monte let ashes drop one by one, until her long curved ash—an impressive six and three-eighth inches—finally fell at 8:00 pm, leaving her with a small nub of cigar left measuring a mere five-eighths of an inch.

“I tied my personal record,” Jacquie said.

Longest Ash Champ Jacquie Carp tries to keep her ash going as Doug Carp looks on.

Jacquie narrowly edged out Mike Apodaca, who smoked and sat patiently by the television set trying to ignore the shenanigans of Team Monte members who had already exited the competition, and even taking the time to announce details about his wife’s upcoming charity event (more details on that to follow). Other shenanigans included what might have seemed to be a three person chess match at the beginning of the competition, and later various instances where someone kept blocking the television set to take pictures of cigar ashes, much to the ire of the club’s most recently-made grandfather and Arizona basketball fanatic. Scores for that game are available elsewhere on the Internet.

Though narrowly edged out in the contest, Mike Apodaca’s poise was unmatched. Basketball game in the background was also exciting.

The most amusing moment occurred contest when David Serna, a lawyer and cigar expert, showed up and was told he was too late for the competition. “But I paid!” he said; when Serna was reminded it was a free contest, another long-time club member Michael Moore quipped, “I guess you lost that case!” There was much laughter.

Honorable mentions go to Art, who went out in fourth place only because he was reaching for his lighter, and the mysterious woman in sunglasses on the couch who may very well have won had it not been for a slight mishap. I can only give you two details: it was hilarious, and I promised not to put it in pixels. If you want to hear that story, you just have to come by the club!

And, for the record, this reporter finished dead last in the competition, ashing triumphantly under the misapprehension that last place would win a refrigerator! There was much laughter.

All and all, it was a great event, not just because Monte’s won the longest ash title back from Jake & Harley’s. Rather, because it was a typical day at Monte’s Cigar Club: hilarious conversations, people from all walks of life, genders, races, socio-economic backgrounds, and political beliefs all getting along, laughing, telling stories, having fun. While most of our media has us so often convinced that everyone is at odds with one another, it is nice to know a place like this persists.

By Parch

PS to Jake & Harley’s: Better luck next year guys! But it was fun. Next year, we should set up a live feed in each club so we can taunt each other on television. Or better yet, let’s have another competition! I suggest chess. Our two best players against your two best chess players, two matches at each of our home clubs, tie breaker at a to be announced neutral ground. Distraction highly encouraged. 😉

PS to Readers: If you like reading interesting things, we recommend you check out the upcoming post “Ask Mr. Part 1: Hoya de Monterrey Excalibur Epicure Maduro on Friday the 13^th”, which tells the story of a great cigar smoked on a lucky day.

Ask Mr. Serna, Part 0: Dry Boxing

I am Parch, the writer of this blog and multi-modal marketer for Monte’s Cigar Shop. Until I joined Monte’s Cigar Club, I knew very little about cigars. And I still don’t know very much. But the little I do know comes from the friends I have made here at Monte’s, and this blog will now be devoted to sharing what I, a cigar newbie, have learned about cigars from those who know way more than I do, with the intention of helping you, my readers—many of who are cigar newbies like me—learn about cigars also.

No one I know likes to talk about cigars more than my good friend David Serna. He has traveled all over the world (as we learn about in this blog series, I’m sure), visiting cigar factories, meeting cigar manufacturers, and smoking lots and lots of cigars. And that’s all the background I need about David to trust him on the subject. I would ask him about cigars before I would ask the Internet any day. In fact, just so you know a bit about my writing process, I’m not looking up anything on the Internet unless David asks me to do it. But I am a poet, so that last sentence may have been a lie. 😉

This should have been the first of these blogs, wherein David and I each smoke the same cigar while having a conversation and I write about that conversation. I picked out two nice Tatuaje Cigars because I know David likes them. But, when I handed them to him, he said they were a bit too moist to smoke right away. He needed, he said, to “dry box” them.

“What,” I asked, “Is dry boxing.”

“Putting a cigar in a dry box,” replied David. Laughter in the room, and I must admit I felt a bit dumb, as that answer was obvious. But, he went on and gave greater detail.

“It’s more difficult on the east coast,” said David, who like me has gone to college out east and traveled there frequently, “Where the ambient humidity is over 70.” Ambient humidity of 70, of course, is an ideal for cigars, though that can be tweaked in some cases, as will certainly come up in future blog posts.

“But in Albuquerque, it works great! The air is dry, and it sucks the moisture out good.” (Woo hoo! Albuquerque! 505!) So, in Albuquerque, if a cigar is a bit too moist, you can just leave it out for a day or two and it will smoke better. David, however, also described a dry box he has had that is simply a regular cigar box with an ambient humidity less than 40. As one of the other cigar club members pointed out, and David agreed, it is helpful to rotate the cigars.

In the next column, we will give you our experience smoking a Hoyo de Monterrey Dark Knight from the Excalibur 1066 line. I will give you more detail about the specific cigar in the next column, after having discussed it will David, who knows more about that cigar than I would have dreamed possible only a few short years ago.

As for those Tattoo Cigars (as I like to call them 😉 ), you will get the proper name of the specific cigar a few blog posts on down the road.

Term of the post, by Serna & Parch:

Dry Box: A cigar box with an ambient humidity below 40, used to draw moisture from a cigar.

Typo Challenge! Are you a grammar-nazi? If so, point out what you believe to be errors in the above. You win if I change it based on your ideology. You lose if I did that on purpose. 😉

Brick and Mortar

I will not lie to you: you can buy cigars cheaper online. I’ve done it myself, considered myself clever when I walked into this very brick and mortar cigar shop, found a cigar I wanted, googled it, and had a box of the “exact same” cigars show up at my doorstep a few days later for a fraction of the price. I told my friends about the score. How clever, I was, I’m sure they thought.

So, if all you care about is paying the least amount of money possible, read no further. Be clever: buy online. Let me know how being clever works out for you.

But if you who are now online think there is more to cigars than a digital transaction, read your screen for a moment, and consider with me the benefits of shopping at a brick and mortar like Monte’s.

The death of communication

The generic reasons for shopping at a brick and mortar cigar shop are the same as they are for patronizing any locally owned business over a faceless online competitor. These are arguments that we all make all the time, laments we cry about our contemporary culture: we don’t get to know our neighbors anymore; we don’t have intelligent conversations; we don’t value the expertise of those who know. When you walk into a locally owned store dedicated to a specific craft, you by default are doing all these things at once: you have to speak intelligently with one of your neighbors about something they know better than you. If you wanted to design a beautiful building, would you go online and download a generic blueprint or would you have a conversation with a trained architect who has dedicated his or her life to that craft?

Sadly, it seems, more people today would download the generic blueprint.

Discuss what suits you

When you walk into a brick and mortar cigar shop like Monte’s, you will always be in the presence of at least one person who knows more about cigars than you do, and will at times be literally surrounded by cigar experts. In my short time as a patron and club member at Monte’s, I have discussed cigars with those who have been in the cigar business pretty much since birth (like owner Matthew Monte), those who have traveled to cigar factories all over Central America and the Caribbean, and those who have worked as cigar rollers in Cuba, all of whom have helped me select cigars after talking to me about my preferences, budget, and even social concerns surrounding cigar smoking.

You can walk into a brick and mortar cigar shop like Monte’s, stand in the middle of the room and say “I know nothing about cigars; would someone help me find one that would suit me?” and several people will be willing to have a conversation with you to help you find it. You can’t get that by clicking a link.

I was broke a few months back so I started asking around at the club “what’s the best cigar for two bucks” and next thing I know some guy who from my perspective knows more about cigars than anyone on earth has pointed something out to me in a back corner of the humidor. They were like $2.35 a stick. A few weeks later I was a little bit flush so I bought a box of them; still my favorite cigar. Taste like a high-end Backwoods in the same way that the smoked sausage sticks called Landjäger at that German deli by UNM taste like high-end Slim-Jims. I’ve given away tons of those things and everyone loves them; I usually get a much more expensive cigar in return. I’d tell you the name, but, well, then you’d just google it and buy some box somewhere and they just wouldn’t taste the same, you’d feel uncomfortable handing them out, and it would ruin the whole experience.

“I want a cigar to smoke while walking my dogs.” “I want a cigar to impress a potential client who is a cigar aficionado.” “I want a cigar for a lady.” “I want a cigar to savor in while obtaining a moment of lucidity while I sit writing in a basement.” Go to a brick and mortar shop and say something like that, listen, and you will get the perfect cigar.

The art of smoking

Cigar smoking is a craft. There is a way you cut the cigar, a way you hold it, a way you hold the smoke in your mouth, and let’s not forget the most ceremonial aspect: the way you light it.

You can, of course, figure this out on your own, right? Just google “how to smoke a cigar” and read some faq. Light reading. Nothing too complicated. Hell, read that in one browser window while rewatching season 1 of Walking Dead on Netflix in another window. How hyper-modern.

Before I lit up the cigar I’m smoking now I as compose this blog post (seems like a good cigar to me; but what do I know, I’m a rank amateur) I couldn’t figure out the best way to cut it. Of course I know how to cut a cigar, I’ve seen it done and done it myself hundreds of times. But there is something to this idea that there is the right cut for the right cigar; it matters. It is part of the art. So I took it upstairs and asked Dale and he not only had a suggestion but he cut it for me. Awesome. Can’t get that online. Worth another an extra quarter.

Serious question for you: which of these is better? A generic box of Christmas cards bought online for four bucks each or customized cards designed by a local artist and printed at a local print-shop for a total cost of five bucks each?

Most say the later; alas, most choose the former.

For the practical minded

What do you do when you open a box of cigars? I know the first thing I do is this: I light one up! If I bought a box, you better believe I’m excited about smoking one of them, as I assume everyone is. Then, I hand a few out to my friends who are around, and put the lion share in my humidor.

But first, I open up the box at the brick and mortar cigar shop. But what is this? A bad batch! It happens. The cigars are all dried out, frayed, or otherwise a bit off. “Hey, Monte, something’s wrong with this box,” I would say next, and he would take a look, see the problem much better than I could possibly hope to see it, and hand me another box within a minute. My friends and I will still be upstairs smoking after only a slight delay and a heartfelt apology. But if that happens with a box bought online, forget it. Even if they offer free overnight shipping to replace damaged cigars, the moment is crushed. And that will take me time; I’ll have to contact someone, probably send the bad cigars back somehow; what a hassle. Why in the world would I subject myself to that potential time-wasting hassle for a few bucks?

My time is worth more than that. Isn’t yours?

ONLINE ONLY DEAL!!!!!

If you read the above and still want to save some money online, here you go: share this post (or any post or photo on Monte’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or WordPress) to any social media site and you will get 5% off for the rest of the day on any purchase at Monte’s. Offer good in-store only. And while you are here, have an intelligent conversation with someone.